hi, my name is ethan. i post here my random thought of the day.
That’s why, when you find someone you want to keep around, you do something about it. How I Met Your Mother (via hull-94)
Sunday, 19 June 1836
MY BELOVED ANGEL,
I am nearly mad about you, as much as one can be mad: I cannot bring together two ideas that you do not interpose yourself between them. I can no longer think of nothing but you. In spite of myself, my imagination carries me to you. I grasp you, I kiss you, I caress you, a thousand of the most amorous caresses take possession of me. As for my heart, there you will always be — very much so. I have a delicious sense of you there. But my God, what is to become of me, if you have deprived me of my reason? This is a monomania which, this morning, terrifies me. I rise up every moment say to myself, ‘Come, I am going there!’ Then I sit down again, moved by the sense of my obligations. There is a frightful conflict. This is not a life. I have never before been like that. You have devoured everything. I feel foolish and happy as soon as I let myself think of you. I whirl round in a delicious dream in which in one instant I live a thousand years. What a horrible situation! Overcome with love, feeling love in every pore, living only for love, and seeing oneself consumed by griefs, and caught in a thousand spiders’ threads. O, my darling Eva, you did not know it. I picked up your card. It is there before me, and I talked to you as if you were here. I see you, as I did yesterday, beautiful, astonishingly beautiful. Yesterday, during the whole evening, I said to myself ‘She is mine!’ Ah! The angels are not as happy in Paradise as I was yesterday! Farnam Street Blog
One resolution: write more letters. Hopefully the pen and paper type.
One goal: make kimchi at least once.
And a list of things to keep in mind, and to check back in 360 days:
- Spend more time to remember; and more effort to forget.
- Spend more time away from technology and read, stare, or be bored.
- Cook a bit more.
- Exercise a little.
- Hope. Because God will open another door somewhere.
China Blocks Google, Again
While the domains play.google.com and plus.google.com aren’t specifically mentioned, it seems that the Google Play Store and Google+, as well as pretty much any other service hosted on Google.com are also being blocked.
As the once-every-five-year 18th Party Congress is under way, Google gets the block treatment. Not good news when for Google when its market share in China has just dipped below 5%.
Now, more bad news for Google: imagine if you are trying to sell a Android smartphone. You can:
- Sell a stock Android device, and risk your users not being able to access search, app store, and most basic functions of a modern smartphone for the foreseeable future
- Port Android. Like Xiaomi, Lenovo, etc. Sell tons of cheap phones and hope developers jump on the bandwagon.
The second option is clearly the safer choice. Still think Google will take off on mobile in China?
I am better at dry sadness than at cold anger, for I remained dry eyed until now, as dry as smoked fish, but my heart is a kind of dirty soft custard inside.
I am not sad. Rather stunned, very far away fro myself, not really believing you are now so far, so far, you so near. I want to tell you only two things before leaving, and then I’ll not speak about it any more, I promise. First, I hope so much, I want and need so much to see you again, some day. But, remember, please, I shall never more ask to see you — not from any pride since I have none with you, as you know, but our meeting will mean something only when you wish it. So, I’ll wait. When you’ll wish it, just tell. I shall not assume that you love me anew, not even that you have to sleep with me, and we have not to stay together such a long time — just as you feel, and when you feel. But know that i’ll always long for your asking me. No, I cannot think that I shall not see you again. I have lost your love and it was (it is) painful, but shall not lose you. Anyhow, you have me so much, Nelson, what you gave me meant so much, that you could never take it back. And then your tenderness and friendship were so precious to me that I can still feel warm and happy and harshly grateful when I look at you inside me. I do hope this tenderness and friendship will never, never desert me. As for me, it is baffling to say so and I feel ashamed, but it is the only true truth: I just love as much as I did when I landed into your disappointed arms, that means with my whole self and all my dirty heart; I cannot do less. But that will not bother you, honey, and don’t make writing letters of any kind a duty, just write when you feel like it, knowing every time it will make me very happy.
Well, all words seem silly. You seem so near, so near, let me come near to you, too. And let me, as in the past times, let me be in my own heart forever.
Your own Simone A Breakup Letter from Simone de Beauvoir